Dragon Diaries

So i moved to Pennsylvania and am now attending Marywood University.  It's not great, but it doesn't really suck either.  I've made a few freinds, i don't want to stab my roommate all the time, and classes aren't too bad (at least yet).

Overall it could be worse but i have been happier.  Some of it is that i was about down with all this college bs and am ready to move out into the real world, *Terro, cover your eyes for this part* get married, and start having sex on a more regular basis and in my own apartment on my own terms for once without having to worry about where the roommates are or if someone would mind what I'm doing on my own damn couch for once. *Ok Terro, now it's safe*

Also, i got so comfortable at my other school what with being an open bisexual and a dragon otherkin that i feel so restricted here.  Because if it I've taken to cursing a lot more then usual (i almost never curse) and when i do slip into tongues i it;s harder to switch back to English.  My shifts are more violent and my temper has shortened.
This should be my only year of having to live on campus.  after that I'm going to shoot for renting an apartment or room nearby since that ought to be cheaper and by then I'll at least know the area and start working a nursing assistant job while i finish my degree.

Not the ideal situation, but I'll do what i have to to get it all out of the way for good at this point.

Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Martin Sexton - Diner

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZBRJ7H05

The program to read it can be safely downloaded here:
http://www.geocities.com/davidayton/CDisplay

enjoy,
chaitea

I guess it's sort of possible.  But the idea doses take some explanation. 

Back-story of this post: I just finished making m latest amv ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhEvIqNSHeQ ) when I realized something: I really like girl.  Now, I’ve already known this but the extent of which is surprising since I have never got to be in a relationships with gals, but rather always seemed to end up with guys after all is said and done.

So here we go:

I've always just called myself Bisexual because I like gals, but I've only ever had relationships with guys.  It is exceedingly rare that I find a guy attractive, let alone sexually.  And even then, there’s almost always at least a million gals that I’d prefer over any one guy who can get that sort of attention out of me.  Too bad my luck with the ladies seems to be about as bad as it is with winning a lottery *moths fly out of my pockets*

I landed in my first relationship with the stereotypical fat rich nerd who couldn’t understand why no one wanted to be his friend.  Took six months of him courting me till I finally caved under all the presents and agreed.  It was nice for a while, like having a good friend I could cuddle with (and big guys can make great cuddlers).  Then we tried having a sex life and everything went to hell from there.

The next one came after the above cheated on me and I needed a punching bag.  He volunteered.  I’m not exactly proud of how badly I treated him in the months we were together, but I don’t feel bad either cause when I did finally break it off he kept coming back wanting more (battered women complex, much?). 

In-between (and to an extent during) these situations was me casing after straight women.  In high school I swear my down was a dead zone for any sort of non-hetero behaviour.  There was one other lesbian that I was aware of at school, and she was practically a guy.  The next closest things were sluts that would make out with a girl to get guys.

So I developed this (possibly terrible) habit of hitting on my female friends.  For a while, one of them even could state that she’s gone further with me then any of her boyfriends (technically second base – playful gropes and stolen kisses count!). 

Another time somehow ended up watching lesbian porn with a bi-curious friend.  This soon lead to a shower in our panties, followed quickly by her chickening out.

I still do the outrageous flirting with my female friends now, but for the most part it’s all talk.  What with having some how ending up in another monogamous relationship with a guy. 

And while he totally puts a damper on my attempted lesbian escapades, he is so totally worth having to call my self bisexual for.  Though it dose make it hard to explain to guys that have crushes on me that they don’t have a chance cause I like girls

“but you’re dating a guy”

“think of it as yet another blockades that ain’t coming down”

Him being a cheerleader is a plus.  That, and as much of a cranky old man he can be, he has a lot of the feminine qualities that I’d usually look for in women.  He’s just completely missing the breasts and vagina, but I’ve learned to compromise.

Besides, all I got from going after females is an entire college club’s scorn (the feminist united of ramapo) and bi curious chicks that end up using me to look good for a guy their into.

That’s where I get my silly yet relatable motto: girls are crazy, that’s why I date men.

Current Music: Katy Perry - I kissed a girl

Finals are almost upon me, and for the first time since college, I'm no really worried about them this semester.  Probably cause the courses are for a minor that i know I'm great at.  And working at a retirment facility has also helped give me some first hand experience .
plus i got to turn it into a co-op.  bout time i got paid for all the work i do in a class.

and now for an entertaining story concerning what happened during my last shift (casue of storied like these, i don't mind having to do Resident Notes):


During my night shift, C.R. came down on three separate occasions acting completely confused and disoriented. The first time she told me that someone had broken into her room and “robbed her—cleaned her out.” She then went on to say that they messed up her drawers and made large holes in her undergarments.
   
I explained to her that the likelihood of someone having just broken into her room and robbing her was rather small, since all of the doors had been locked for hours and she lives on the third floor. She then declared that she would check again to make sure that he wasn’t there while she was talking to me. I told her that I would go with her to make sure that she was safe. When I went in all her drawers were closed and nothing looked out of place. She said that he must’ve cleaned up to make it look like nothing had happened. I told her that we could check the security tapes of the doors to make sure no one had gotten in.

    About an hour later she came back down to the front desk to tell me that he came back and stole her wallet this time. I asked her where she had it last and she told me in her purse, which she had with her at the time. When I asked if she could check her purse to make sure it wasn’t in there, she looked in and pulled out her wallet. I asked if that was the wallet she thought was missing, she said yes, turned around, and returned to her room.

    The third time she came down it was to complain about the state her clothes were in. I asked if she thought it was the robber who did this to he clothes, to which she claimed she had no idea what I was talking about, as she had never been robbed. I told her we’d see what we could do about it in the morning, and that it would be a good idea to get some rest.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Arrogant Worms - Go To Sleep Little Leech

Another comic post that's a fine choice for the ladies (especially all the fae chicks out there):

Surburban Glamour

Writer/Artist: Jamie McKelvie


"Suburban Glamour is a 4 issue mini-series, published by Image, that tells the story of two 17 year olds living in a small Worcestershire town, desperate to finish their final year of school and escape to the wider world. Unlike some first issues the pace isn’t cranked up to pump out as much information to the reader as possible. Things move at a natural pace and the reader is given a chance to sample a chunk of the main characters lives as they unfold. There’s no unnatural exposition and no clunky dialogue forced in to help the reader along. You just get to see some kids living their lives, and by seeing that come to understand what kind of people they each are and what their relationships with one another are like. That is exactly how things should be done, and in this case it’s done brilliantly." (Quote from bonzobutch @ K-L!)



http://rapidshare.com/files/107888526/Suburban_Glamour.zip

Current Music: Nellie Mckay - inner peace

That certainly was a rough night of sleep.  What I dreamed about didn’t bother me so much as the emotions that went with the bizarre sequence of images and events that rolled about threw my mind last night.  Misha is always trying to get to write it down instead of bottling it up or (my worse and more likely alternative) sharing my feelings.

Not that there’s anything usually wrong with sharing what on one’s mind.  Unfortunately, my mind is a case all of its own. 

Typically, I pride myself on my ability to tell people straight up what I think of them and say about them.  My mantra is “if anything, at least I’m honest to your face.”  Now, a lot of people are always going on about how they’d rather things be told to their face rather then said behind their back.  So you’d think I’d be an easy person to get a long with when it comes to most people? 

Either way, I guess I’m too much for a lot of people.

So, I guess it doesn’t come as much of a surprise when I say I’ve never really had the experience of being stuck in someone else’s shadow.  I’ve always had that almost overbearing, and terrible obnoxious personality quirks to tell straight up how I see it and what I think about it.  From being this way for a while, it has become all too apparent that not everyone feels this way is the best course of social interaction. 

Enter a college friend that came in during my sophomore year where I was already able to define myself quite well and people got a hang of how I was (the ones that didn’t mind so much stuck around and became rather close friends of mine).

Now, turns out she is a lot like me (though in other ways then some of the ones mentioned above).  As we got to hanging out, turned out a lot of her mannerisms were similar to mine and what not.  Some things she might have picked up from me, others were already there. 

One of the main struggles she has spoken to me about (when it came to her adjusting to college life) was having to deal with people saying she was trying to be me.  I hadn’t noticed till it was pointed out but yeah she did come across as a Minnie and more sporadic version of me (in a twisted sort of way) but to me she was still her and I couldn’t understand why she was so irked about it so frequently.

I can now totally sympathises, and even relate to that feeling.  Though from where I’m viewing things, I don’t think I should have to.  At least in her case it was cause she was just similar to me in a lot of ways, so that’s rather legit.  In my newly discovered case, it’s simply cause I happen to be dating someone.

Now, I love Terro.  Have for a while now, and even went threw a lovely stage of crushing on him before the relationship thing actually happened (thanks again Misha!).  We’ve been together as friends since before high school, and now dating in college.  For as long as I’ve known him, we have always had a lot of fun differences and what not’s that meshed well together.  We had enough in common that we could get a long and relate, but there was plenty that was different so we could still argue and not get bored.

Until joining some online communities with him, I had never been accused of trying to be him or slave to him and his ideas.  We were always well defined in who we were as a couple and who were as individuals.  I don’t know if it’s that online these lines become fudged so much so that no matter how different we may be, we still get clumped together as the same.

And there’s the “almost running late” alarm.

Hopefully I’ll come back and go into this more later.  Though I know how awful I am at dealing with something like LJ, so who knows.  If anything, I at least gave writing it all down a shot.

Current Music: Poe - walk the walk

I threw together my first amv while working the night shift at my job.  I had a few technical problems when converting it from windows movie maker to a movie file, but aside from that it came out much better then i expected my first trial run to go. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=285QNY5vS1c

This is the comic issue the AMV is mainly based on:

http://rapidshare.com/files/92226160/Deadpool_and_Death_Annual_1998.cbr

Hopefully my next one goes smoother and actually comes out looking like what it was meant to.  
Any suggestions for other movie making programs that are not associated to windows?

Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Gnarls Barkely - Crazy

Happy Birthday Elinox!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzXO_5e8oO0&feature=related

Current Music: Arrogant Worms - Happy Birthday

My very first day in clinical with my very first patient (though they’re trying to get us to call them ‘clients’ instead).Before that transpired I got her charts e-mailed to me the day before so I can write up a concept map. 

Concept map = worst idea ever.  It’s a new thing that (for whatever reason) seems to be catching on in the medical field.  I’m gonna blame those crazy holistic crackpots (and to think, I was considering specializing in that.  And then I met one…).  Basically, you take a nice linear format that easily explains the information you need to know, then tear it up, place the pieces in a blender, and proceed to void all over it. 

In other words, it’s a diagram with lines and circles everywhere so you can’t read anything and have no idea what’s going on with the patient anyway.  The point of it was to show connections between the different diagnosis’s outcomes, and interventions.  What it actually did was convoluted a whole bunch of information (which was hard enough to understand when it was in a format I could view).

So that first Thursday morning I slipped on my dorky white uniform that made me feel more like I was going to pump my patient full of cholesterol rather then work on getting it out of them.  I get to look over her chart, talk to her nurse and then step into the room to see how she’s doing and introduce myself.

She was an elderly woman (mind 80’s) who was hard of hearing and not sure why she was there.  She had come in the night before complaining of chest pain, but this following morning she found that to be preposterous.  Either way, she let me be there to assist her.

Now, by this point we’ve only had a few labs which tough us how to give a bed bath and make a bed (totally what I want to be doing for the rest of my life).  First off, these are the jobs the techs do so after this I’ll probably never have to do it again.  But eh, it’s good to know these things just in case (I guess), so to work I went. 

After she finished breakfast I asked if she needed any assistance with oral care.  She adamantly refused, so I asked if she’d like to perform it herself.  She even more adamantly refused.  Well, there goes me getting my job done, I figured.  Bit for the hell of it, I asked if she’d like a bed bath.  She was alright with this idea.

Now, I personally don’t know about most people but when it comes to me and my body I am more bashful about someone else cleaning that then my mouth.  But hey, she’s old and probably just worried about her dentures (even though they were in a coup at the time and her breath was foul.  She wouldn’t even use mouth wash).

  So I go about the order in which I’m supposed to clean the body: eyes, face, neck, ect.  She seemed more then comfortable.  Then we got down to her perinea area, so I ask if she would like to take care of that her self.  She then tells me no.  I’m a bit confused now, so to clarify I ask if she would like me to.  She says yes…

For the love of all things holy I was not allowed to go anywhere near her mouth, but her vagina was a free for all on display.  It only got more awkward from there, so I’m just gonna stop since there are something’s I’d rather not reminisce on (heh, and you thought the above was bad).

Next I need to go into my clinical instructor, cause that’s something I could actually like to have an account of.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Leroy - good time

Good News: Thus far i have officially passed three out of four classes this semester! 

Bad News: the final i have left can make or break weather or not i get to stay in the Nursing Program at my college

It;s the Foundations of Nursing class, and the way it works is there are 4 exams and one final which make up the grade (great stuff for a poor test taker to work with).  I did well on the first two exams, the last two not too well but there is a long fun story that goes with that. 

Basically, the teacher tried to cut us a break and assigned a take home exam essay (turned into 16 pages of pain) to do over Thanksgiving break (the only break we ever got).  We turned it in the following Monday only to find out (two days later) that it couldn't count cause take home anything was against the nursing departments policy.  After that, we had to throw in when to take the third exam.  that ended up happening the Friday before the fourth exam (which was on the following Monday). 

So (for whatever reason) those last two exam are worth more then the first two.  so now my final grade depends on me getting an 80 or better to stay in the nursing program (not too much of a stretch, since we're also kicked out if we get below a C+ in any of the nursing classes).  So tonight i'm freaking out cause my only back up plan at the moment is to just become a janitor (and thats just [Scrubs] induced).

Aside from that, i look forward to a nice long break that no one can make me write a ridiculous paper that won't count for anything anyway.

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Voltaire - Crusade